Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
