You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
