Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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