I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
