sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
