The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
