I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Two words: blizzard sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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