Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
