weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
