i would punch a child for taco bell
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
