they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
