i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
