hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
