we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
