this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
