She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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