Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
