It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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