New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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