weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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