Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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