So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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