We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
