Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
