I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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