JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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