I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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