Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
