Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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