Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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