that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
