Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
