I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
