Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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