the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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