I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
