That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i barfeds in our rink
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
