I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what day is it and did you see me today?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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