You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
