Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
