i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you win again, gameday.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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