Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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