her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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