From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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