do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
