I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
