I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
