A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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