you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
