...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
