Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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