end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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