he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
