Already got asked if we're dating
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
