why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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