someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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